5s to 13s befriending
Our befriending service provides support to children and families who are facing adversity. We aim to help local families face their challenges and develop strategies which empower them to build a more positive future.
Who is it for?
Families with a child between the ages of 5 to 13.
Some children are experiencing difficulties with relationships at home and may have challenging behaviour that parents are finding difficult to manage. Others may be struggling with their school, their homework, or have siblings with complex needs.
Referrals come from a range of places, including schools, GPs and Children’s Services. Get in touch if you think your family might need
our support.
What do we offer?
One-to-one support to an individual child and their family, with a trained volunteer befriender
Our befrienders offer a listening ear, provide non-judgmental advice when asked, involve their child in fun activities, work to re-engage the child and their parents and improve self-confidence, encourage families to seek their own solutions to problems they face, and signpost other sources of support in the local area.
Visits take place weekly, for two hours and families are asked to commit to one year with the service in order to see the real benefits.
Additional support
In addition to the befriending service, we provide:
- group activities for children, such as after-school workshops and an annual activity day during summer holidays
- support for families at meetings with schools and other community agencies.
We often build on the work that other services have put into place, promote their strategies and help to forge relationships between them and families.
Parents of children receiving support from a befriender can also be referred to our complementary counselling services.
How does it work?
Once a referral has been accepted, our 5s to 13s Befriending Manager meets with the family in their own home to identify their needs. A volunteer befriender is then carefully matched and introduced to the focus child and parents.
The befriender makes weekly visits, after school or sometimes at weekends. During this time the befriender gets to know and develop positive relationships with the child and family, and offer guidance in a non-judgemental and supportive way.
Befrienders support their focus child by spending quality time together, engaged in activities inside and outside of the child’s home to boost confidence and develop their social skills and interests.
Read some of our success stories…
Beth aged 8 was referred by her school SENCO. Her mum, Zara, had been diagnosed with neurological disorder and was experiencing debilitating fatigue, mobility issues and regular seizures. For safety Beth and Zara moved into Zara’s parents’ home but Zara’s physical and emotional symptoms had an enormous impact on everyone’s wellbeing and Beth become withdrawn and anxious about her mum’s health.
An experienced befriender called Jane was matched to not only offer support and friendship to Beth, but also to offer respite to Zara and her parents. Beth was initially reticent to leave mum “in case she gets wobbly and needs me” so Jane planned short excursions to places that were familiar to Beth to build up her confidence and reassure her that her mum would be okay.
After a few weeks Jane was able to extend the sessions until she and Beth were spending the full two hours out of the home enjoying a range of befriending activities together. The nurturing and trusting relationship that Jane has provided has allowed Beth’s confidence to flourish to the point where she was even able to spend an entire day out at a FOTF summer activity workshop trying rock climbing and ringos for the first time.
As the befriending year concluded, a referral was made for Beth to the Young Carers and she started working positively with them. At the final review Zara said “Jane has been amazing, and Beth has got so much out of their time together. She is definitely more confident and now ready to start working with the young carers. Jane has also been a great support to me and my parents too; We all love Jane!”
Luca was referred to Friends of the Family as he had been struggling with social anxiety and had found the transition to secondary school challenging. He had very low self-esteem and would become angry with himself if he felt he had not done something right. He was more comfortable in small groups so Luca’s mum felt that having a befriender 1:1 could help build his self-confidence.
Suzie was matched to Luca, and they met in town after school. Initially they spent their time taking long walks along the river where it was quiet. This helped Luca feel more comfortable and a trusting friendship began to grow. Soon they were visiting local coffee shops, playing games and doing homework projects together. Suzie knew that Luca found social interactions with new people daunting so they rehearsed ordering the drinks in the coffee shop for several weeks before Luca had the confidence to this himself. He was then able to do this in different shops each week and even ordered the popcorn when they visited the cinema as a birthday treat.
Over the time they spent together Luca and Suzie developed a close bond. Luca confided in her about some difficulties he was having with other boys in his year group. She listened to him and helped him think about how he might resolve this for himself by speaking to his tutor. He did this and the situation improved for him. Luca is now enjoying school and in a recent update from his mum she reported that he is doing well and received a certificate for exceptional character, behaviour and beliefs, met an Olympian, started his GSCE subjects and got himself a lovely girlfriend!
His mum said, “The service came at just the right time for Luca, Friends of the Family were so good for him, it was magic!”
We first met Sarah and her ten-year-old daughter Amy when they were referred to Friends of the Family by their doctor’s surgery. Sarah had recently moved to Winchester following the death of her to husband to be closer to her cousin who could help with childcare for Amy when Sarah was working.
In the previous few years, the family had been swamped by bereavement. Sarah’s father, husband and son had all tragically died, and her sister was terminally ill. To offer the best support, we matched Amy with a befriender called Emma who had worked for many years in a hospice and was ready to listen if Amy wanted to talk. They hit it off immediately – singing along together in the car, walking Emma’s dog and making things together.
With Amy’s befriending relationship in place, Friends of the Family looked at ways to also help her mother. Sarah accepted the offer of some counselling and after 20 sessions she felt much more confident, acquiring the confidence to speak to the manager where she works to change her hours to fit in better with Amy’s school day and enrolled in several courses at the library. She said, “My counsellor was easy to talk to and she really listened to me.”
We also supported Sarah and Amy to access other resources in the community. We took Sarah to Scratch, a local charity that supplies paint to families in need, so that she and Amy could redecorate their living room. We also sourced a fridge, a mattress and some curtains for their flat and found a supporter to pay for a new washing machine.
Sarah and Amy have come to the end of their year with Friends of the Family, but we can see that Amy is much more confident, no longer the little girl who hid behind the sofa when we first visited her home! Sarah is also in a better place, looking to a brighter future having just become a grandmother for the first time.
Sarah said “Thank you so much for everything. You have been so kind to us, you have really helped Amy and me so much.” Amy also thanked Emma with a beautiful handmade card in which she wrote “Thank you. You have done so much for me; I don’t know where to start. I want you to know, thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
